<h1> <b>一個(gè)“黑二代”的平凡的世界</b></h1><div><b> </b> 悠悠歲月 （原創(chuàng)）</div><h3> 我的“平凡的世界”（代序，雙語(yǔ)版）</h3><h3> My Ordinary World (in Place of the Preface)</h3><div> 曾經(jīng)熱播的電視連續(xù)劇《平凡的世界》，我看到了30集。我想前30集也許是最值得我看的，因?yàn)檫@30集主要反映了那個(gè)時(shí)代農(nóng)民的苦難和苦難的根源，雖然它的背景是西北地區(qū)，其山川地貌、風(fēng)土人情、語(yǔ)言風(fēng)格和我的家鄉(xiāng)——魯南地區(qū)，都差別很大，但是其記述的當(dāng)?shù)剞r(nóng)民的艱難和那個(gè)時(shí)代的政治災(zāi)難卻和這邊大同小異。所以，觀看電視劇，仿佛又把我?guī)Щ氐侥莻€(gè)悲慘的年代，帶回到我灑汗流血的土地上，帶回到我參加過(guò)的學(xué)大寨的大會(huì)戰(zhàn)中，帶回到故鄉(xiāng)那一家家走不完的磨道上和漆黑的灶房中，帶回到那些愁腸百轉(zhuǎn)的日日夜夜。我永遠(yuǎn)不要再過(guò)那種日子，但是，我永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)忘記那些歲月，不會(huì)忘記苦難的根源，我也希望后代永遠(yuǎn)記住那荒唐的年代。</div><div> I watched 30 episodes of the TV hit "the Ordinary World", which once attracted a large audience. I guess these might be most worth watching for me, because these 30 episodes mainly reflects the suffering and misery of China’s peasants in that era, and the cause of the misery. Although its background is the northwest, and its mountains and landscapes, customs and the local dialect are quite different from those of my hometown–Southern Shandong, but the peasants’ miserable life and the political disasters it reflects are quite similar to those I myself experienced and that happened in our area then. Therefore, watching the drama, I feel as if it's taken me back——back to the miserable times，back to the farmland on which my sweat and blood fell, back to the great “Battle of Learning from Dazhai Village”I once took part in, back to the no-end path round the stone mill and the dark earthen kitchen every household had in my hometown, and back to the days and nights on which I was so worried about how to live on. I will never live that life again, but I will never forget those old days! I will forever keep in mind the root cause of the sufferings, and I do hope that future generations will always remember the absurd times.</div><div> 作為孫少安們同一時(shí)代的人，我也想把我的“平凡的世界”呈現(xiàn)出來(lái)。不過(guò)，我的“平凡的世界”和孫少安們的又有很大不同，因?yàn)閷O少安頭上還有一頂貧下中農(nóng)后代的紅帽子，而我的世界除了同樣受窮挨餓，還一度有一頂看不見(jiàn)的黑色的政治帽子壓得不敢喘氣，我比他更卑微。</div><div> I, too, want to present my own “Ordinary World”. I once lived through the same times and over the same hardship as the Suns. However, on the other hand, my “ordinary world” was different from that of the Suns, because the Suns’family background was a “poor and lower-middle peasant”, while besides the same poverty and hunger as the Suns’, I, for quite a long time, had a “black” political hat on my head which pressed me so heavily that I almost choked. I belonged to an even lower class than the Suns.</div><div> 我的命運(yùn)注定和艱難結(jié)緣。我1951年出生在沂河畔的一個(gè)村子，伴隨著舉國(guó)的紅旗。很小時(shí)候的記憶就是統(tǒng)購(gòu)統(tǒng)銷時(shí)期，糧食緊缺，爺爺領(lǐng)著我去前街排隊(duì)購(gòu)買煎餅。</div><div> My fate doomed my life to sorrow and hardship. I was born in 1951 in a village on the Yihe River , along with red flags all over the nation. The first thing I could memorize was that I had followed Grandpa to a rather faraway place, waiting in a long line to buy pancakes. That was during the times when the government’s police of United Purchase and United Sale of Grain, which resulted in the shortage of food.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div> 1958年，大躍進(jìn)，我入小學(xué)，舉辦社辦班，我被分到社辦班，老師就是村里的年輕社員，一年級(jí)就換了三個(gè)老師。三年級(jí)時(shí)，社辦班撤銷，合并到公辦班，受盡歧視。<div> I went to school in 1958.It was during the movement of the Great Leap Forward. The village-run classes were set up and I was distributed to such a class, in which we had three temporary teachers in one year, one after another, all from young peasants of the village. Then in Grade Three, the village-run classes were undone and our class was incorporated into a state-run class, in which we were looked down upon by the teachers and pupils of the original class.</div><div> 吃公共食堂，家里鍋碗瓢盆都被沒(méi)收,家中不準(zhǔn)冒煙。困難的時(shí)候，是吃不到孫少安吃的那種有高粱面的黑窩窩頭的，那時(shí)候那種窩頭對(duì)饑腸轆轆的我可勝似山珍啊，我們吃的多的是爛地瓜干面做的堅(jiān)硬的黑窩頭，更困難的時(shí)候，吃的是老地瓜秧子摻上地瓜干面子蒸在一起的窩頭，還有吃了拉不出來(lái)的花生殼粉窩頭。天寒地凍，膽小害羞的我拉著討飯棍去鄰村討飯，空空而歸。</div><div> Then peasants were forced to dine at public canteens when the people’s commune was set up. All grains were confiscated by the commune, including everything that was connected with eating such as pots, pans and so on. No household was allowed to cook anything at home. At the difficult time, I could not have the black wowotou made of sorghum flour that Sun Shaoan ate. Even what he ate would have been something delicious for the starving me if I had been able to get. What we often ate was solid wowotou made of flour of rotten sweet potatoes. And even such supply was not enough. And we ate steamed old sweet potato stems mixed with sweet potato flour, which tasted terribly bitter. What impressed me most was something the canteen supplied made of crushed peanut shells which I could hardly swallow. What was more, moving bowels was so difficult after eating that constipation often happened. On a coldest windy afternoon, I， who had been a very timid and shy boy, went to a neighboring village begging pulling a begging stick. The result was that I returned without anything after wandering there all over the village.</div><div> </div><div><br></div> 1961年，塌天大禍降，年僅49歲的父親突然離世，全家陷入絕境，不知道路是否還能走下去。此后，我又多了一個(gè)讓孩子們歧視和自卑的條件。<div> Then in the very year of 1961, the most difficult year, a disaster fell down upon our family as if the heaven fell——my dear father suddenly passed away, without an word left for me. The whole family fell into deep despair, wondering if we would be able to live on. Afterwards, a boy without Dad was another reason for which I was looked down upon and was more self-abased.</div> <div> 1962年，食堂解散，離餓死的威脅遠(yuǎn)了一點(diǎn)，但是還是吃不飽。從上小學(xué)開(kāi)始，放學(xué)后就要割草、撿柴、放豬放羊。</div><div> The public canteens were disbanded in 1962, and after that people escaped from starving to death, but still far from having enough to eat. After school, I had to work, cutting weeds, collecting firewood, and herding a pig or a goat and so on, and this had started at the age when I began schooling.</div><div> 1964年， “四清”工作隊(duì)進(jìn)村。烏云再次籠罩家庭?！八那濉睌U(kuò)大化，工作隊(duì)硬給故去的父親一頂不戴帽子的富農(nóng).</div><div> In 1964, the Four Clean-ups Movement working team came to our village. And this drove away the smiles and brought worries back. The working team persisted that my father, who had passed away many years, be given a rich peasant hat ( a bad political label). And this threw our family into long-time horror.</div><div> 從那時(shí)起，我就成了“黑二代”或者說(shuō)是政治奴隸。1965年，讀初中的我，助學(xué)金被取消。新?lián)Q的叫做“閻王”的班主任把我當(dāng)成了階級(jí)斗爭(zhēng)的對(duì)象，政治歧視和無(wú)緣無(wú)故的訓(xùn)斥壓得我喘不開(kāi)氣。二哥的對(duì)象也吹了，征兵、入團(tuán)也沒(méi)有他的份。</div><div> After that I was driven to the untouchable class, in other words, I became a slave in politics. And ever since then my family were discriminated against. In 1965 when I was in Junior Grade 2, my two yuan’s financial aid, which was so important for me, was cancelled. The teacher in charge, who was a son of a revolutionary martyr, treated me as an object of “ class struggle”. I was so pressed by his political discrimination and scolding without any reasons that I could hardly breathe. And my second elder brother’s engaged would-be wife broke away from him soon after. What was more, he was not allowed to join the army and the League, which he had been longing for.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div></div><div><br></div> 初二讀了一半時(shí)，文革風(fēng)暴至。同學(xué)們的歧視升級(jí)，不但當(dāng)不上紅衛(wèi)兵，還有調(diào)皮男孩常常追打我，罵我“狗崽子”。文革風(fēng)刮進(jìn)農(nóng)村，一直想入團(tuán)的二哥遭受批斗。一貧如洗的家兩次被抄，弄得雞飛狗跳。抄家的鑼鼓聲嚇得母親多年害怕鑼鼓聲。<div> Then, when I had just finished the first term of my second year in Junior 2, the so-called Great Cultural Revolution broke out. The discrimination from my classmates became more serious. I was not able to join the Red Guards. What’s more, a few naughty boys often ran after and hit me, calling me Gouzaizi (an insulting call for the discriminated people’s children). The Cultural Revolution also spread to the countryside. Then my second elder brother, who had been wishing to follow the Party, was criticized at a meeting. Afterwards, our poor house was twice searched and our property was confiscated. The whole household was left in disorder. My old mother was so terrified by the sound of gongs and drums from the team of the house-searching that she would get very afraid of hearing the sound of gongs and drums in many years.</div><div> 1968年，學(xué)校革委會(huì)發(fā)一本毛的語(yǔ)錄本，我們畢業(yè)了。</div><div> In 1968, we were given a small copy of Chairman Mao’s Quotations—we “finished” our middle-school.</div><div> 弱小的身體，從此正式加入了“戰(zhàn)天斗地”的行列。各種農(nóng)活，各種臟活，我都干過(guò)。拉地排車，拉馬車，在采石場(chǎng)采石頭，去社員家里挖大糞，酷暑嚴(yán)冬，收割耕種，冬天去外地參加勞役般的農(nóng)田水利大會(huì)戰(zhàn)，睡在人家過(guò)道里冰冷的土地上，胳膊累酸了，肩膀累疼了，腰肢累得動(dòng)不了，手上的血口子向外滲血。</div><div> Afterwards, I formally became a commune member, taking part in manual labor with my thin and weak body. I took part in all kinds of farm labor and all kinds of dirty work，such as pulling the cart, pulling the carriage，mining stone, and collecting human waste from the villagers’ houses. I worked in the field, sowing and harvesting, in hottest summer or terribly cold winter. Several times I went to faraway places to take part in the irrigation and water conservancy construction in very cold winter, spending nights on the cold mud floors in the local peasants’ corridors. Tiredness made my shoulders and arms ache, my arms and waist could hardly move and the wounds on my hands were bleeding.</div><div> 身體上受害，腦子也被洗，生活艱難，認(rèn)為是沒(méi)有落實(shí)毛澤東的思想。心里還是要“跟著毛主席干革命”，經(jīng)常學(xué)習(xí)毛選，背誦“老三篇”和毛語(yǔ)錄。</div><div> Not only was I physically harmed but also ideologically harmed.I stupidly thought it was because Mao Zedong’s thoughts had not been well implemented that the peasants’ life was miserable. Though in a precarious state, I was still determined to “following Chairman Mao to stem revolution”. And I often learned Mao’s selected works. I could recite Mao’s “Lao Sanpian”( old three articles) and many of Mao’s quotations. I even managed to build a “Mao’s Precious Book Stand” to display Mao’s portrait and his red-covered books in my broken straw-made hut.</div><div> 出牛馬力，還是缺吃少穿，“豐衣足食”就是一個(gè)神話！一年又一年，年年不改變。我渴望改變命運(yùn)，可是夜色茫茫，看不到路。沒(méi)有路，還是要在荊棘中走下去，還是要生存。為了生存，我參加過(guò)哄搶紫穗槐根，大冬天去羅莊巨大的煤矸石堆上淘煤空手而歸，偷偷地搞“資本主義”：編織麥秸辮子、販賣兔子，步行100多里販賣地瓜秧粉，在雪花中販賣草鞋，去外縣販賣鯉魚(yú),住在冰冷的地瓜屋子里。</div><div> Although I, like everyone in our area, worked as hard as cattle, I was still short of food and clothing. Enough food and clothing was really a myth. Year after year saw no improvement. I longed for my fate to change, but saw no way in all darkness. Although there was no way, but I would not let my fate lying down. I tried hard to struggle through the thistles and thorns and I would not give myself up. To stay alive, I took part in digging the roots of the state-owned Amorphafruticosal illegally for firewood. To stay alive, I went together with some other peasants to Luozhuang to pick “coal” from the huge coal gangue heap in a terribly cold winter, only to return without anything. To stay alive, I did things of “capitalism” in secret: weaving wheat straw braids, buying and selling rabbits, walking more than 50 KMs to trade crushed sweet potato stems and walking in snow several tens of KMs to buy straw sandals. And once I spent a night at a very cold cellar for storing sweet potatoes in order to buy and sell fish in another county.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div> 參加大隊(duì)的建筑隊(duì)，修橋、蓋房子，每天步行十幾里去工地，累得抬不動(dòng)腿。<div> I took part in building bridges and houses in the commune’s building team. For this work, I walked 10 KMs or more to the construction site. The very hard labor made me so tired that I could hardly lift my feet after a day’s work.</div><div> 我也有夢(mèng)想，為了夢(mèng)想，我自學(xué)針刺，可是進(jìn)不去大隊(duì)衛(wèi)生室，雖然大隊(duì)衛(wèi)生室那個(gè)赤腳醫(yī)生什么都不懂。為了夢(mèng)想，我學(xué)習(xí)鉆研農(nóng)業(yè)科學(xué)實(shí)驗(yàn)，根據(jù)調(diào)查，寫(xiě)成了《地瓜爛根病調(diào)查報(bào)告》，省農(nóng)科院來(lái)信要我去參加學(xué)術(shù)大會(huì)，可是卻被青年專業(yè)隊(duì)長(zhǎng)代替我去了。</div><div> I, too, had a dream, as other young people. For my dream, I taught myself Chinese acupuncture and practiced on myself. However I could not work at the brigade’s clinic, though it only had a “barefoot doctor” who knew nothing about medicine. For my dream, I studied agricultural scientific knowledge and did experiments. According my survey, I wrote “A Report About the Root-rotting Disease of Sweet Potatoes” and posted it to the province’s Academy of Agricultural Sciences. It was praised by them and they wrote to invite me to go and attend an academic conference. However, the brigade sent the team head of the so-called Youth’s Professional Team to attend it instead of me.</div><div> 眼看著有關(guān)系的青年，不論是幾乎不識(shí)字的，還是傻了吧唧的，參軍了，被“推薦”上大學(xué)了，招工了，連考不上初中的民辦教師教出來(lái)的學(xué)生都當(dāng)了民辦教師了，我這個(gè)省重點(diǎn)中學(xué)的優(yōu)等生卻當(dāng)不上。任何稍微“鮮明”一點(diǎn)的事都沒(méi)有我的份,任何可以使用我的文化的地方我都去不了。<b><font color="#167efb">上學(xué)的門堵上了，入團(tuán)的門堵上了，參軍的門堵上了，當(dāng)工人的門堵上了，連去大隊(duì)青年專業(yè)隊(duì)干活、當(dāng)個(gè)臨時(shí)工的門都堵上了！公平的嚴(yán)重缺失摧殘著我的心！</font></b></div><div> Some better-related youths in my village, no matter they were hardly educated or muddleheaded, were recruited into the Army or factories, or recommended into colleges. Even some youths whose teachers were those that had not been able to enter middle-school through examinations had become citizen-managed teachers, but I could not, though I had been an excellent student at a provincial key middle-school. I had no right to do any work that a little better suited me and I were not allowed to do any work at which I could use my culture and knowledge. Blocked! All ways were blocked by the power. The way of being educated was blocked, the way of joining the League or the Army was blocked, the way of going to factories was blocked, and even the way of doing farm work in the Youths’ Special Team or working as a temporary worker was blocked. I wished for fairness but there was not any. I wished to cry for fairness but there was no place. And the severe lack of fairness depressed me. </div><div> 沒(méi)有任何道路！可是，我還不甘心，我還要掙扎。終于，在姐夫的幫助下，找到了一個(gè)在地區(qū)水稻試驗(yàn)站打工的活，我終于當(dāng)了一段幫助搞水稻實(shí)驗(yàn)的臨時(shí)工，每天9毛錢，交生產(chǎn)隊(duì)7毛。在那里，我發(fā)揮了我的學(xué)識(shí)，并且萌發(fā)了愛(ài)情。可是，當(dāng)我謹(jǐn)慎地向她表達(dá)時(shí)，她卻翻臉了。求愛(ài)成了罪惡，工友們當(dāng)面聲討我。</div><div> There was no way for me! But I would not let my fate lying down. I would keep on struggling. At last, my brother-in –law managed to find a temporary job for me at a state-owned Unit of Rice Experiments. I worked as a migrant worker for a period, helping to do rice-planting experiments there. There my culture and knowledge was made use of and I came to fall in love with a girl. But when I carefully expressed my feeling to her, she turned hostile, exceeding my expectations. The result was that my asking for love was regarded as evils. And the following moment, the fellows were scolding me to my face.</div><div> 命運(yùn)如此不公！社會(huì)如此不公！1976年冬，我選擇了和兩個(gè)伙伴夜里出走。遠(yuǎn)離家鄉(xiāng)，漂泊到了黃河岸邊一個(gè)非常偏僻的小山村,幫那里的人采石頭，打窯洞。</div><div> In face of the unfair fate and the dark society, I kept on struggling. In the winter of 1976, I left home secretly at night, with two young fellows. We went far away from our hometown, only to wander to a very remote mountain village by the Yellow River. There we mined stones and dug cave-houses for the villagers. </div><div> 三九嚴(yán)寒，山地凍得硬如石頭，一鍬下去，震得手虎口和胳膊疼痛欲裂，也只挖掉一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)土。手上的老繭磨掉了一層又一層。手指上甚至手虎口裂開(kāi)了許多大口子，血絲往外滲，疼得鉆心。夜里躺下，疼痛得血管直跳。早上起床后，全身僵硬，尤其是手掌和手指。</div><div> It was the coldest season of the year. The weather was freezing. The land on the mountains was as hard as stones. With each shovel down, my hands and arms were hurt by shaking. The calluses on my hands were worn away one after another. Continuously shaken, the calluses cracked, and blood exudates came out. The pain was as deep as the heart. When lying down at night, the pain seemed more severe, which made the blood vessels beat violently. When getting up in the morning, the whole body was stiff, especially the hands and fingers. </div><div> 大年初一，我們登上高山頂，向著遠(yuǎn)處的群山，向著家鄉(xiāng)的方向呼喊，熱淚如泉涌。</div><div> On the Chinese New Year’s Day, we climbed onto a mountain top, shouted towards the faraway mountains and screamed in the direction of our hometown, tears dropping down continuously.</div><div> 半年多的苦力，只掙了不到40元錢。1977年五一，被迫只身返鄉(xiāng)，途中夜宿徐州，遭遇全國(guó)大搜查，夜里被帶到派出所，交出了那40元錢。回家后，遭遇“割資本主義尾巴”，被大隊(duì)開(kāi)大會(huì)，令我上臺(tái)坦白。</div><div> Within more than half a year’s heavy work, I earned less than 40 yuan. Before May I in 1977, I had to returned home alone. I was so unfortunate that I encountered the search and examination over the country when I stayed in a small hotel. I was taken to a police station in dream, and was forced to hand out the 40 yuan. After getting home, I was criticized for my “capitalist” behavior and was ordered to review my “bad behavior” on the platform in the Brigade’s yard. </div><div><br></div><div><br></div> 1977年，高考恢復(fù)。雖然我僅僅讀過(guò)不到兩年初中，我決心參加這唯一公平的競(jìng)爭(zhēng)。僅獲得報(bào)考資格就不順利，通過(guò)努力拿到《準(zhǔn)考證》就足以讓我激動(dòng)得難以入眠。首次嘗試失敗。<div> In 1977, daybreak at last appeared. The national university entrance examinations were restored. Although I had only learned for two years’ middle school, I made up my mind to take part in this only fair competition. However, it was not easy to enter myself for an examination qualification. Through efforts, I at last got the admission ticket, which made me too excited to fall asleep. It was quite natural that I failed. </div><div> 1978年，為了夢(mèng)想，自學(xué)英語(yǔ)，準(zhǔn)備再次參考。我選擇了大家最不愿干的活——為生產(chǎn)隊(duì)撿糞，因?yàn)檫@是我能擠出時(shí)間學(xué)習(xí)的唯一途徑。每天，我推著骯臟的、破舊的小糞車進(jìn)城撿糞，車把上掛著削價(jià)的袖珍收音機(jī)，邊走邊收聽(tīng)英語(yǔ)講座和新聞，人們投來(lái)不解和鄙夷的目光。除了到處撿糞，還推著車子去圖書(shū)館看書(shū)，去一中旁聽(tīng)。推著撿糞車學(xué)英語(yǔ)，成為人們口中的傳奇。 </div><div> Then in 1978, I started teaching myself English, preparing for the second national examinations for my dream. For my dream, I chose the labor of picking feces for the commune, which in fact was the last thing that people would do. I chose to do it because I saw that was the only way that I could have more spare time to spend on learning. Then every day I pushed my dirty and broken cart to Linyi City，picking every kind of feces on the way. I also listened to the English lecture and news while walking, with my pocket radio, which I had bought at a reduced price, hanging from the handle of the cart. And this drew people’s puzzled and contempt eyes. In the city, besides wandering about to search for and pick feces, I also pushed my feces cart to the library to read books and newspapers or to the No. 1 Middle-School of Linyi to sit in on classes. The story of a young man learning English with a feces cart quickly became a legend from mouth to mouth.</div><div> 十年的艱苦勞作，十年的風(fēng)風(fēng)雨雨，已經(jīng)讓我把那點(diǎn)原本殘缺不全的知識(shí)忘得差不多了。更不用說(shuō)，我連高中的課本都沒(méi)摸過(guò)。面對(duì)的是：知識(shí)的缺陷，信息的缺陷，時(shí)間的缺少，甚至連可以看書(shū)的小桌子、點(diǎn)燈的煤油都沒(méi)有，更別提什么復(fù)習(xí)提綱、同步訓(xùn)練了。有的只是改變命運(yùn)的強(qiáng)烈愿望和不惜一切代價(jià)脫離苦海的決心，有的只是被逼出來(lái)的毅力和沖破壓抑的爆發(fā)力。坐著在學(xué)習(xí)，站著在學(xué)習(xí)，走著也在學(xué)習(xí)，吃飯聽(tīng)講座，干活心里背誦單詞，夢(mèng)里背誦數(shù)學(xué)公式，看見(jiàn)報(bào)紙，覺(jué)得有用的就記在紙片上。我入迷了！廢寢忘食，滿腦子英語(yǔ)單詞和句子，滿腦子數(shù)學(xué)公式，就差走路碰到大樹(shù)上了！頭發(fā)長(zhǎng)了，屁股磨破了，身上少了肉……</div><div> After ten years of hard work and ten years of distress, the knowledge, which I had originally learned fragmentarily, had been forgotten a lot. What was more, I had not ever studied in senior high school. I had not even had a chance to touch a textbook for senior students. I had to face so many difficulties—— lack of knowledge, lack of information, lack of enough time, and even lack of an ordinary desk and kerosene which could be used to light my self-made lamp, letting alone the outline of the review or the synchronous training. What I had was the strong desire to change my lot and the determination to escape from suffering with at all costs. What I had was the perseverance coming from being forced and the explosive force which had broken through repression. I was learning while sitting, I was learning while standing and I was also learning while walking. I listened to the English lecture while eating. I recited English words or sentences while working. And I recited English or math formulas while dreaming. Whenever I found anything useful, I wrote it down on the small pieces of paper. I seemed to be enchanted! Food and sleep were often forgotten. My brain was filled with English words and phrases, math formulas, and so on. Fortunately I had not knocked myself on a tree! My hair had grown too long, my buttocks were wounded, and I became very thin. </div><div> 每一步，都是那么難。到了報(bào)考的日子，去報(bào)名點(diǎn)報(bào)名，卻被告知沒(méi)有資格報(bào)名。我推起糞車，滿頭大汗跑到縣招生辦公室，爭(zhēng)取到了報(bào)名資格。</div><div> Every step forward was so difficult. When the time came and I went to the registration place to register for the examinations, I was refused to be registered for the reason that I was neither a fresh graduate nor a Laosanjie. I was so stricken that my heart nearly burst. I picked my small cart and rushed to the county’s Admissions Office with all sweat. And at last I managed to enter myself for that year’s national examinations!</div><div> 1978年夏末，高考揭榜了。我成了這個(gè)有幾千口子人的大村子第一個(gè)靠考試走進(jìn)高校的人。我終于實(shí)現(xiàn)了再次讀書(shū)的夢(mèng)想,我終于隨著國(guó)家命運(yùn)的轉(zhuǎn)換改變了自己的命運(yùn)！當(dāng)然，前面的困難還很多，前面的路并不平坦，但是，我畢竟擺脫了奴隸身份。</div><div> The late summer of 1978 saw the results of the examinations. I became the first one in this big village that had entered a college only through examinations. My dream of going to study at last came true and I succeeded in changing my lot along with the change of the country’s situation. Of course, there were still a lot of difficulties in front of me and my future way would not be smooth. But I got rid of the slave’s identity.</div><div><br></div> 我成了“知識(shí)分子”，可是，這“知識(shí)分子”是帶引號(hào)的，因?yàn)?，我只是掙得了一個(gè)飯碗，并沒(méi)有獨(dú)立思考的能力，只是隨著形勢(shì)走，精神上還是奴隸。<div> I finally became an “intellectual”, but I was only a so-called“intellectual”，because I had only got a job to earn my living. I had not got the ability of thinking independently, and my mind only followed the political situation. I was still a slave in spirit.</div><div> 時(shí)間進(jìn)入21世紀(jì)，感謝互聯(lián)網(wǎng)，感謝那些勇于獨(dú)立思考、敢說(shuō)真話和致力于啟蒙的人，在夕陽(yáng)西下的時(shí)期，我最終學(xué)會(huì)了獨(dú)立思考，擺脫了迷信和崇拜，學(xué)會(huì)了不迷信任何人和任何空洞的說(shuō)教，而是做一個(gè)獨(dú)立特行、用自己的腦子去探求真相和真理的人?！安粸榫醭澑?，只為蒼生說(shuō)人話”已經(jīng)成為我的座右銘。余生不多也，我要為平凡世界里的平凡的人說(shuō)人話。</div><div> Then in the 21th century, thanks to the Internet and those who are brave enough to think independently and to tell the truth and who have been devoted to ideological enlightenment,I finally learned to think independently at my old age. Now I have got rid of any individual superstition and personality cult. I have learned not to believe anything blindly and not to believe any preaching away from reality. I’ll be a person in spite. And I will be a person to discover the reality and truth with my own brains. The saying“telling truth only for the common people instead of singing praises for the governors”has become my motto. I have decided to speak for the common people in the ordinary world during the short rest of my life.</div><div></div><div> 2017年2月 修訂</div><div> March, 2017</div><div>（原創(chuàng)作品，轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明作者和鏈接；轉(zhuǎn)發(fā)隨意。）</div><div> 謝謝閱讀，多提建議，贊賞隨意。</div><div><br></div>