<p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">龍風(fēng)國(guó)學(xué)院</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">國(guó)學(xué)院名譽(yù)總院長(zhǎng)：梅欣</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">國(guó)學(xué)院總院長(zhǎng)：曲延波 李美權(quán)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">國(guó)學(xué)院執(zhí)行總院長(zhǎng)：盧進(jìn)海</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">國(guó)學(xué)院副總院長(zhǎng)：劉李萍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1204分院院長(zhǎng)：項(xiàng)新建</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">副院長(zhǎng)：杜君 朗月</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">教 官：王柏賢 洪彩娟</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">課程編審：盧進(jìn)海</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">授課老師：李華</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">作業(yè)布置：國(guó)學(xué)院12期教研組</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">本期點(diǎn)評(píng)老師：杜君</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">美篇制作：朗月</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">學(xué)員:王菊芳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">學(xué)號(hào):LF12-GX184-0032</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">①平起平收，押三平韻式:曲度四絕式·高鐵(平聲一東)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">朝西暮東，騁速如風(fēng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">萬嶺千壑，飛馳暢通。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">杜君評(píng)語:平仄韻皆準(zhǔn)確無誤，詩意切題，形象比喻，聯(lián)想豐富，時(shí)空交疊，突出主體特點(diǎn)。起轉(zhuǎn)自然，情感蘊(yùn)藉。好詩!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">②仄起仄收，押三仄韻式:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">曲度四絕式·共享單車(二十哿上聲)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">驗(yàn)證開鎖，隨心駛坐。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span>街邊寄存，便利平妥。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">杜君評(píng)語:詩格把握精準(zhǔn)恰當(dāng)，文字表意信達(dá)，主題鮮明，敘議流暢，明白如話，非常好!贊!</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">學(xué)員:賀菊能</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">學(xué)號(hào):LF12-GX184-0033</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">①平起平收，押三平韻式:曲度四絕式·高鐵(七陽平聲)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翻山越洋，盡覽風(fēng)光。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">萬里飛疾，心扉趣藏。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">杜君評(píng)語:平仄用韻皆準(zhǔn)且意境深遠(yuǎn)，自然暢達(dá)。結(jié)句“心扉趣藏”可再斟酌推敲一下。整體不錯(cuò)!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">②仄起仄收，押三仄韻式:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">曲度四絕式·共享單車(十三阮上聲)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">客市游晚，無糾路遠(yuǎn)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?單車喜迎，候你往返。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">杜君評(píng)語:格律無誤，語言通暢，擬人修辭，情意綿綿。寫出客之歡快，游興正濃，意猶未盡!好作品!贊!</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">學(xué)員:雷寶珠</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">學(xué)號(hào):LF12-GX184-0031</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">①平起平收，押三平韻式:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">曲度式四言絕句·手機(jī)(十一真平聲)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">親朋倍親，世界如鄰。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">遍曉天下，人生美醇。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">杜君評(píng)語:對(duì)格律掌握扎實(shí)，運(yùn)用嫻熟，妙借古人“天涯若比鄰”詩境，表情達(dá)意，酣暢淋漓，深味現(xiàn)代科技之驚殊!好作品!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">②仄起仄收，押三仄韻式:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">曲度式四言絕句·導(dǎo)航(十一陌入聲)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span>越度阡陌，聽從汝策。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">行車省心，愜意游客。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">杜君評(píng)語:巧化曹操詩句“越陌度阡”，擬人修辭，無聲之處，自然流露，贊嘆嗟呀。好一似孟德遇良謀之喜不自勝矣!構(gòu)思高妙!贊之!</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">學(xué)員:雷穎嫻</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">學(xué)號(hào):LF12-GX184-0029</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">①平起平收，押三平韻式:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">曲度式四言絕句·高鐵(四支平聲)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">長(zhǎng)龍駛離，電掣風(fēng)馳。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">跨海鉆洞，奔騰不羈。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">杜君評(píng)語:用韻、平仄把握精準(zhǔn)，基本功扎實(shí)。形象比喻，恰當(dāng)擬物，視覺與聽覺多感觀、多角度生動(dòng)再現(xiàn)，引人入勝，使讀者如臨其境，驚心動(dòng)魄，詩情豪放。好作品!極贊!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">②仄起仄收，押三仄韻式:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">曲度式四言絕句·網(wǎng)購(十七霰去聲)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span>日用家電，糧油米面。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">饈衣住行，網(wǎng)購全選。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">杜君評(píng)語:格律嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)，用詞恰切。先敘具體再議概括，明確主體，突出題旨。語言質(zhì)樸自然，富于生活氣息?！梆}衣住行”似不若就用最通俗之“衣食住行”更好，僅供參考。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">學(xué)員:黃青山</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">學(xué)號(hào):LF12一GX184-0025</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1)平起平收，押三平韻式:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">曲度式四言絕句·雪地稚子(上平五微)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梨花亂飛，大地生輝。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">稚子憐雪，遲遲不歸。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">杜君評(píng)語:充滿童趣，化用岑參“千樹萬樹梨花開”，以梨花喻飄飛之雪花，稚子天真可愛，貪玩不歸，猶襯托雪之迷人，美境疊生，令人憧憬。真堪稱佳作!極贊!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2)仄起仄收，押三仄韻式:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">曲度式四言絕句·雪地頑童(去聲四寘)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">白絮鋪地，天寒所賜。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">頑童怨歸，撒潑揮淚。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">杜君評(píng)語:與上篇意境相似，但喻體變換，白絮喻雪，另有妙趣。動(dòng)作神態(tài)，躍然紙上，兒童天性更為逼真性。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">學(xué)員:常泰新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">學(xué)號(hào):LF12一GX184-0019</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1)平起平收，押三平韻式:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">曲度式四言絕句·高鐵(八庚平聲)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千山阻程，萬里成行。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">縱騁南北，同得月明。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">杜君評(píng)語:詩律準(zhǔn)確，用詞恰當(dāng)，主題分明，有氣勢(shì)，抒情慨然，意蘊(yùn)豐富，思緒悠長(zhǎng)。很不錯(cuò)!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2)仄起仄收，押三仄韻式:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">曲度式四言絕句·支付寶(七遇去聲)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span>掃碼支付，花錢適度。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">家常有閑，美滿留駐。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">杜君評(píng)語:平仄無誤，用韻準(zhǔn)確，語言自然暢達(dá)，有勸勉，有祝愿，情意殷殷。對(duì)美好生活的贊美與向往，溢于筆端，讓人回味綿綿!贊!</span></p>