<p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二零二六年一月上社課</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">要求：以平水韻五歌作七言絕句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">刊頭題字 ：蔣孝余</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">收集簡評 ：汪守先</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">美篇編輯 ：趙以順</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span></span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【劉先倫】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">賞白石老人《風中牡丹》有懷</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">命染霜華憾事多，雨師風伯兩消磨。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">浮香幾縷升天去，散作人間離恨歌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">簡評：第三、四句轉(zhuǎn)結(jié)自然，頗有味。第二句用典不是很妥。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">觀齊白石絕筆《葫蘆》抒懷</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">葫蘆無力寫蹉跎，歲月形消有幾多。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">最是瓜黃留不住，丹青妙手奈如何。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">簡評：畫葫蘆乃書寫蹉跎歲月。瓜黃自落，孰能留住生命。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【謝 勇】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">題齊白石《柳牛團扇》圖</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">半邊落照枕山阿，暮色沉沉復若何。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">須遣丹青畫牛柳，舊時鄉(xiāng)土憶猶多。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">簡評：直寫畫面。前三句景歸于結(jié)句。惜后二句搭接欠緊密。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">題齊白石《野鼠園珍》圖</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一樹風搖時果落，饑腸不誦采薇歌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">勸君莫笑貪饕樣，蹭蹬塵埃奈若何。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">簡評：首句“時”字多余，且使句意拖沓，尾句亦欠圓潤。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">題齊白石《耦》圖</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">但教形色棲泥淖，月印還隨洛水波。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">詞筆飽諳冰潔處，污衣不礙眾吟哦。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">簡評：明題畫擬人之法。第二句情景交融。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">自 遣</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">未信此生長坎坷，悠悠心事盡蹉跎。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">煩襟欲向杯中減，醉后醒來愁更多。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">簡評：全作圓融。減字下得好。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【文受剛】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">題齊白石《風中牡丹》</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花中魁首勁如何，傲骨平生最耐磨。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">縱遇則天行貶謫，洛陽依舊俏枝多。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">簡評：用事切?！皠拧弊挚烧?。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">題齊白石《葫蘆》</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">環(huán)球近日事端多，孰信清潭水不波。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">按下此君瓢又起，渾身解數(shù)奈他何。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">簡評：想象拓寬到“近日環(huán)球事”，雖只以一“瓢”字著題，卻含蓄有味。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">題齊白石《柿子》</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">秋后收成幾大籮，紅黃雅致弟兄多。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">任人拿揑皆因軟，空有甘甜喚奈何。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">簡評：物即人。白話入詩，見趣味。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【趙以順】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">題齊白石《柳牛團扇》</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">柳岸風輕草色和，灘頭閑步水云多。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">不勞俗事牽行處，自在無憂飲碧波。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">簡評：格自然清雅。唯第三句顯澀。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">題齊白石《河塘清趣》</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鷺立蒼巖影相摩，水中魚戲弄清波。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">江湖自在閑如許，同沐春風意趣多。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">簡評：合題，合境。尾句顯直。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">題齊白石《風中牡丹》</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">紅冠在頂氣嵯峨，鐵羽霜姿振玉珂。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">不向籬邊爭粒粟，一聲啼破楚天歌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">簡評：此牡丹真有點象此神物。結(jié)尾堪酌，“啼”與“歌”意重。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【周國慶】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">題白石老人《柳牛團扇》</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">綠絳白水泛清波，誰折葉兒吹牧歌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">斜日閑聽風晚渡，浮生如夢嘆蹉跎。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">簡評：語如行云。合于畫境。詩中有我。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">題白石老人《荷塘清趣》圖</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">葉底輕漣映碧羅，往來翕忽戲晴波。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">時光淺淡清歡少，也任閑暇任濯磨。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">簡評：“淺淡”二字用得好。尾句欠達意。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">高中同窗老城小聚</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">換盞傾談復幾何，豪情與夢漸消磨。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">此生不覺已逾半，四顧蒼然禿頂多。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">簡評：沉郁雅致而有趣。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【鐘華】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">觀白石翁群蝦圖</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">酒罷揮毫意興多，蝦戲淺水自婆娑。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">當年乞愿三家轉(zhuǎn)，藝苑今成絕妙歌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">注：齊老有詩云：“青藤雪個遠凡胎，老缶衰年別有才。我欲九原為走狗，三家門下轉(zhuǎn)輪來?！?lt;/span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">簡評：詩中見畫作者。唯前后聯(lián)似不能統(tǒng)于一主題。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">題白石翁達摩渡江圖</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一葦西來渡濁波，九年面壁所為何。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">破塵空履歸真去，留與蒼生參悟多。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">簡評：合于主旨，詩情一氣直下，結(jié)尾好。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【梁正森】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">題白石老人畫意</b></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">一</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雙魚拔剌戲清波，水面風來舞碧荷。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翡翠呆呆翻白眼，力孱勁小奈魚何。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">簡評：題《荷塘清趣》，見畫意，見情。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">二</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">屈身拱背爪牙多，彈跳隨時后腿拖。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">滿腦肥腸原是汝，雖披甲胄敢揮戈。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">簡評：有寄托。不明所寫。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">新 年</b></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">一</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">歲首瘋傳馬杜羅，豪情一舉歇干戈。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">神兵萬里從天降，三角州前唱凱歌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">簡評：寫新年時事，頗切。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">二</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">天方返日看揮戈，燈火長街絕頌歌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">面罩頭巾拋腦后，波斯女子盡嬌娥。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">簡評：言某神權(quán)大國事。首句用典恰。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:18px;">【趙學鵬】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">赤水行吟四首</b></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">一</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">來逐嚴冬赤水河，千年流淌一支歌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">只因霧靄遮望眼，未必青光春日多。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">簡評：暢達。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">二</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">又聽之溪泛棹歌，不因地僻少嗟哦。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">民生自古一般大，千載難除一積痾。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">簡評：有民歌風。結(jié)得有味。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">三</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">不似潮流似漩渦，時光抽打一陀螺。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">王旗今日仍招展，欲認沉戈自洗磨。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">簡評：第二句實驗體，有味。結(jié)尾意未達。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">四</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">河畔青波對皓皤，一杯老酒醉顏酡。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">百年誰解陳熙晉，也共竹枝唱棹歌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">簡評：陳熙晉，清代詩人，知縣。曾任職仁懷。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【祝西峰】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">生 日</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">六十三年曲曲過，一頭白發(fā)尚奔波。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">到今不說前朝事，唯愿秋田粟米多。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">簡評：詩含蘊。耕耘者不過一莊稼人。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">冬月廿四日望星空</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">長空皎潔問如何，此夜星燈格外多。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">應是天庭開盛會，群仙攘攘渡銀河。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">簡評：想象奇。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【唐嘉誠】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">偶感風寒，數(shù)日不瘳，詩以紀之</b></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">其 一</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">連宵咳嗽好堪磨，遑論糟醅更鏟多。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">果是文園真病渴，人間要典坎坷過。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">簡評：首聯(lián)寫作者。尾句意未達。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">其 二</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">提褲挽袖幾多磨，欲閉云扃養(yǎng)太和。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">但道今朝無稻粟，何曾虛度枉蹉跎。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">簡評：尾句之詞意重復太煞風景。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">?</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span></span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【牟明英】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">寄 懷</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">半生已逝半生磨，深曉紅塵世味多。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">自遣閑敲平仄韻，淡看前路任蹉跎。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">簡評：尾句不順，句意欠斟酌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">山 居</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">欣看時鳥繞梁歌，影疾身輕如擲梭。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">可惜蕭蕭一陣雨，門前丹桂落紅多。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">簡評：前二句寫鳥，結(jié)尾卻是丹桂，難以統(tǒng)于一主題。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【周大中】 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">對 弈</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">躍馬揮軍過楚河，星傳檄羽起干戈。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">三千甲胄輕生死，血染征袍不議和。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">簡評：氣韻雄。弈棋于打仗何其相類。</b></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">象山授課途中</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">又碾輕塵向碧蘿，詩香雪染白頭歌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">蓄芳翌日同拈韻，軔發(fā)長安競百軻。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">簡評：第二句佳。收尾詩意上揚，且與起首句呼應；云程發(fā)軔，前景在望。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span></span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【羅洪濤】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;"> </b></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">歸</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">風刀削面意欲何，蓬垢歸來背枕戈。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">葉褪霜欺塵未阻，寒鴉野徑笑狂歌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">簡評：言歸途境況。枕戈似不妥。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">小吃街</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">燈火難尋舊夢酡，東鄰把酒又如何。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">門羅野雀西施遠，一品紅飄寂寞多。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">簡評：尾句結(jié)構(gòu)甚好?！芭f夢酡”，意欠順達。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);">?</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(128, 128, 128);"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span></span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【汪守先】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">讀齊白石畫《風中牡丹》</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">清絕幽奇胸底羅，漫驅(qū)大筆起婆娑。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">衣襟拂拂身姿挺，獨立西風唱晚歌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="color:rgb(1, 1, 1); font-size:22px;">讀齊白石絕筆畫《葫蘆》</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">蠟盡光微意幾多，輕揮墨彩發(fā)高歌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">滄桑百載將歸去，猶有詩情似大河。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">讀齊白石畫《蟹正肥時酒亦香》</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">壺里清醪香若此，籃邊肥蟹意如何。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">個中凝望全知味，不識明朝有劫波。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">簡評：拙作。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;">?</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(128, 128, 128); font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span></span></p>